so i've been reading this book a lot lately...

Its called Love 101. its actually not my book i kinda stole it from caitlin, who stole it from some library in keaau. BTW CAITLIN, IT WAS DUE BACK ALMOST THREE YEARS AGO :P
anyways back to the point. Someone once told me "there's a difference between a physical attraction combined with love and respect you have for a friend and being in love with someone" (rough paraphrase) and i didnt get it. i didnt understand how you could love someone and be physically attracted to them and at the same time not want anything to do with them romantically. To me love+physical= romantic! but not to the rest of the world. or at least not to the one person who actually matters. Anyways, this blog is not about making caitlin feel bad. I LOVE caitlin, and im happy for her. yeah. um. anyways, not about caitlin....what is this blog about then???? oh yeah. the book!
ok. so i stole the book after i was told that stuff about romantic love hoping that maybe this book would teach me something, and caitlin warned me that it prob wouldnt but hey! they are some cool quotes that sometimes make you feel good about yourself and other times make you feel like a complete ass hole or loser. I guess its all about balance right? yeah so back to the point. THE BOOK
this is the prelude:

What if you were about to meet your perfect lover?
what if you knew this lover better than anyone else?
What if you liked the same food, loved the same movies, listened to the same music, rooted for the same teams, enjoyed the same friends, were fascinated by the same books, had the same spiritual beliefs, cared about the same causes, and shared the same goals?
What if you absolutely knew you two could live together comfortably?
What if your lover always had your best interest at heart?
what if you were brought before a large door and told that, behind that door, was the love of your life?
you straighten your hair, pop a cert (tic tac for our generation) take a deep breath, open the door...(page turn)...and find yourself face to face...(page turn)...with a mirror.

i just kinda stumbled across the prelude today i never gave it any attention before like most preludes, i just skip to the juicy stuff. but i found this one quite insightful. we must be able to love and live with ourselves. because in the end that is all we really have. i'll be the first to say that i have THE BEST friends in the world, without a doubt. In the past they have all proven that they would do ANYTHING for me even when i dont deserve it and they all know i'd do anything for them. but in the end. its just me, in the end of it all i have to be able to sleep with myself, not with my friends :( hahaha. sorry. anyways. i'm never going to put myself first but i need to stop putting myself last. and thats the same for you! sommerset. you need to move yourself up the latter :) i know you can. i know its different and this is a BAD example, but if i can be happy for caitlin (which i am!!!) then you need to be happy for yourself. you need to be better for yourself ! because YOU deserve so much better and i dont EVER want to hear you say differently!!!!
i love you all and miss you guys dearly. i cant wait to come home.

oh and in case anyone else really cares here's how the election is going right now:
in INDIANA Which is supposed to go republican, cuz they are losers!!! obama is down 3% with about 50% of the vote accounted for. VIRGINIA he's down about 9% with about 50% accounted for. FLORIDA obama is UP 4% with about 40% of the voted counted. GEORGIA obama is down by ALOT but thats okay Georgia sucks anyways. NORTH CAROLINA obama is UP 10% with 10% of the votes counted.
and overall with electoral votes Obama is up 103 to McCain 58. you need 270 to win and i'm confident. everyone pray of start buying one way tickets to newzealand :)

btw if anyone has Lindsey's email can you send it to me i want to add her to the list of people who can see this, i dont want to leave anyone out. :)

sommer wanted me to blog again...

So here goes nothing. I'm gonna try not to post all my enlightening idea's on myspace anymore. I';m actually trying to not post anything. It seems as if my post there are interfering too much in some people lives and i feel bad. I welcome ANYONE. i'm going to be honest, no more bullshitting like in the other blog.hahah. This blog is about life, about honestly... its about a whole lot of things and in writing i hope to heal. if you find some sort of pleasure in reading then i encourage you to read my post. but realize NOTHING in this blog is meant to hurt anyone or to have them feel bad. i dont know how much time i will have to blog but ill try my best to keep this updated with the event of my life, almost starker-like.

realization for the day....
i'm really good at procrastinating, and California has SHITTTY fruit. but okay cheese

BE strong!
btw. feel free to comment, or not. but if you are reading i'd like to be aware of it at least....