Neither a lofty degree of intelligence
nor imagination
nor both together
go to the making of genius
Love, Love, Love
that is the soul of a genius.
-Mozart
GUys.
i have a confession to make. i've been keeping a secret from all of you for a week or so but i wanted to fill you guys in because you guys mean the world to me. I've fallen again. Like a rock, not a feather like i promised i would. I dont really know what else to say except i'm ridiculously happy. And i'm gonna try make this last forever, and i know it sounds corny but this shit is for real. Not like the lasts times i'm putting my all into this and im never letting this love go. Honestly, this love has been more challenging and rewarding than any other kind of love i've ever experienced. Its been an amazing learning experience so far and i can't wait to see what in store. so i bet you what to meet him or her right?
HAHAH. actually im just in love with life right now. its amazing, like AMAZING!!! i dont think i've ever been this light and floated like this. its an amazing feeling. so yeah im not in love with a person but i have met a few very very promising prospects. Only problem is the one i think im starting to like the most is kinda off limits, which is probably why i like him.
I kinda promised myself i wouldnt date poets even before i dated caitlin and i broke that rule once and im not sure if i should or even want to break it again, you know? plus there is this other girl who likes me here and she is just beautiful person, only thing she's not so much my type.... idk... maybe she is if i like her, why else would i be attracted to her? you know? but she's definitely made it clear that she likes me.. BLEH.. idk what to do
oh and of course then there is Chris who is coming to visit me in january.... umm thats gonna be interesting considering i know whats gonna end up happening. kjahdfkasjhdfkajshdfkajsdh and i dont know if that is what i want.... hmmm. maybe? maybe not? considering i wasnt ready for it last time doenst that mean im still not ready for it if it hasn't happened yet with someone else??? idk.
and then there is Nainoa who...well who i dont relly know whats going on between us. its always a different story every day. and britney who keeps calling me and talking about how she wants to hang out when i come home and we all know how that ended last time.
its funny i thought after my last relationship that i had NO options. i felt helpless. but i have options i just dont really want to think about them and make a choice. what sucks is that even if i say im over my last failed romantic relationship i keep comparing every new opportunity by it. EVery person i encounter i think about how they compare to what i had, which is the STUPIDEST THING EVER, cuz i know that no one will ever be like caitlin and caitlin wasnt anything like steven so i dont know why im always tripping about it cuz even though my relationship with caitlin was different from steven i was REALLY happy. so transitively my next realtionship that is nothing like caitlin will also make me really happy... right? oh fuck the transitive property doenst work in bed?!??! what am i gonna do. lol.. jk.
haha
anyways this blog is ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!!!
im done
i just wanted to let you guys know that even though im still really stressed with school im also REALLY REALLY happy with my life and yeah. im proud of the person i've become through all of this.
thanks for loving me :)
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2 comments:
awh hun... i love you! this is an awesome blog. okay... you totally freaked me out with the falling like a rock... and then you freaked me out with being in love... and then i understood. lol. it takes the podagee a little while. lol. anyways, i'm so glad you're happy. don't think of it as a high, think of it as life. this isn't an outlier in life, this is the real thing. life SHOULD make you happy. not be sad and then sometimes receive a high. don't think that this is gonna end. you deserve to be happy. as for the dilemma, holy shit woman! why you gotta be so sexy for?! lol. so why is the poetry guy off limits? is it cause he's a poet or is there other reasons? from your post, it seems like he's the one you really want and the others are just kind of... if things don't work out with him... then i'll do them (literally and figuratively). lol. btw, i want you to know that sex does NOT define a relationship. you guys could be perfect and not have sex yet. don't let anyone pressure you into it. you have a secret that we all don't anymore... a secret that we all wished we had never let out. trust me... i admire you and in fact envy you for still holding your V-card. lol. but yeah, don't worry, you'll know when the time is right and never feel pressured. you are amazing and it doesn't matter. i'm always here for you... always here if you need someone to talk to. always. but as for the situation, i'd say chase the guy but not the others... if you really like him, then don't let your fears hold you back. to experience true love you have to let yourself go... you have to be willing to allow yourself to get hurt. that's love... trust me... i know. lol. but yeah... that's life. i love you and no matter who you are or what you feel or whether you're dropping like a rock or soaring like an eagle, i'm here for you.
i love you and always will!! bffl!
<3,
sommerset
sorry i forgot to define my verification word...
here we go.
berlo: a type of hat that covers the top of your head and ears. used when snowboarding.
In a sentence: The boy bought a $500 berlo for his cousin because it was his birthday and he was going to go to the Alps to celebrate.
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