Real Love.

"In real love you want the other person's good
in romantic love you want the other person. "

...STory of my life...

so hey guys i havent really blogged in a while. haha. so here goes nothing.

i let it go. all of it. i talked to my my therapist at my last crazy people session :P and basically told her im done holding on. and so that is it. i was always happy for Caitlin but now i'm pretty damn happy for me too for letting her go. i know it may seem a little fake guys, but im good trust me I AM. i'm pretty damn happy, im in a good place mentally and emotionally. I'm in touch with my feelings and my friends and i've opened myself up to knew opportunities. I've been dating around A LOT, not in a creepy way. and i've realized even though i kinda miss the whole committed relationship thing im really not looking for that now. i just want to have fun. so i'm gonna keep kinda putting myself in interesting situations and see what comes from it. i'm definitely not going to run from a relationship but im not looking for one anymore. I'm happy enough with what i have now.

i definitely am still homesick, but in a more healthy way. i miss my sisters to death and can't wait to go home and be the cool big sister and spoil them rotten. I've always wanted to be a good sister but i never really wanted to be their best friend too. now i want it all and i cant wait to get it :). moving away has taught me so much about myself and life and really how strong and stupid i can be. lol.

but really i have nothing else to say. i've been laughing A LOT lately and taking pleasure in really weird things like eating coco puffs or just watching a boring movie with a cool guy. i've finally started my life here and i like it. I'm so glad i'm at Stanford even if it means that the world back home is changing. I'm done holding on to yesterday. I'm really excited for next quarter even though its going to be really hard, but i feel like next quarter i'll actually be learning and challenging myself so thats good.

anyways this blog is just so unorganized and poorly written but i dont fucking care. i'm happy and just so amused by life and yes im a little lonely when it gets boring but thats when i get to deal with myself so its okay.

things are good guys. things are good :)